Hondas CUV: e
- Motorcycles Online
- Jul 1
- 4 min read
If, hypothetically speaking, you’re a rider of a certain age and find yourself occasionally on something like the GoldWing that you’ve put 500 kilometres on since you bought it a little over two years ago then you’ve probably got enough money for a camper van. Since you’re now old, financially secure and have a lot of time on your hands you’re free to park up your range Rover and spend bank holiday weekends driving on main roads at 60 to 75% of the posted speed limit while other motorists wish you were dead. With a sincerity that can only be described as ‘intense’.
Then, when you’re finished irritating everyone else on the planet you pull into a carpark overlooking a beauty spot, park your ‘van’ up on those chock things that keep it perfectly level and light up the BBQ. It’s around then that you realise that you’ve forgotten the milk. Don’t worry though! As you have one of those racks on the back of your vehicle to carry bicycles that remains unused because of your bad back /knees /hips or whatever is wrong with you, you can use it to carry a new Honda CUV e: scooter.
Rather wonderfully the new moped is fully electric and can be charged by the ‘mothership’ as you drive along. It has two batteries that can be charged via a domestic socket, has a 6kW E-Drive motor and will reach speeds of up to 83 kph. That’s about 4 kph faster than you’d drive that ‘house on wheels’ thing on a busy national road. It also has reverse which will allow you to leave it ‘nose in’ and taking up a full car parking space at the local Lidl. You’ll probably even take up a wheelchair spot as your gammy leg will be acting up again.
Using one to defeat the morning commute, however, allows the rider to command significantly more respect. It has everything you need. A completely flat battery will charge to a completely full one in six hours and 25% to 75% will only take three. LED lights save weight as does the TFT screen. The last one displays all the critical information such as speed and level of charge remaining. It has a smart key.
CUV ES stands for Clean Urban Vehicle Electric Scooter. It’s part of the Japanese giants quest to become completely carbon neutral by the 2040s. This one feels like a conventional 125cc petrol burner, whereas the one from a few years ago was tiny in both size as well as range. Think monkey fucking a tennis ball that was burst while being run over by a van was driven by a man so full of hate he’s verging on being diagnosed as a psychopath and you get the picture.
The motor sits off to the left hand side of the rear wheel. It has up to 6kW of deliverable power along with 22Nm of torque and will carry up to 100kilos up a 5% gradient. It’ll accelerate from zero to 100Kph in about ten seconds. Even though the numbers are decidedly conservative it’s still designed to take a passenger. It even has pillion grab bars.
Riding modes included are econ. This one is for when you realise that taking on a 20 kilometre commute in sport mode (the fun one) was a very poor idea. There’s also a standard one if you work as a trainee accountant with Price Waterhouse Cooper.
In spite of all this tech the chassis is still decidedly old school. It sits on conventional 12” wheels has a set of standard forks and even a drum brake on the rear!
The ‘beast’ has a flat floor, or foot plate, which helps it remain unintimidating. It has very little space under the seat, enough for a pair of waterproofs, but there is a top box available as an optional dealer fit extra. You can carry your iPad in it, but you’ll need to slide it into the ‘wallet’ in front of the rider in order for the charging cable to reach the USB port. That’s the charging cable for your electronic device which takes power from the battery which uses a bigger cable to take a charge from a power socket when the scooter is parked up. This should be ironic, but somehow it isn’t.
A premium version is also available. This one has Hondas Roadsync Duo, a Bluetooth link to the riders phone. It comes with a bigger seven-inch TFT screen. It allows for navigation as well as finding charging points. This is able to update itself via Hondas’ Over-The-Air (OTA) software updates. The latest features for your CUV: e? Always on tap.
As well as the top box there is an option to add hand guards, an alarm and a taller screen. Honda also offer a specific charger for the moped.
It’s available in three colours, Premium Silver Metallic, Matte Gunpowder Black Metallic and Pearl Jubilee White. Prices aren’t available yet, but if you talk to your local Honda dealer they’ll probably confirm that they know absolutely nothing what so ever about the thing.
If you know someone who rides an electric bike and can discuss it without mentioning power, range, price or self-righteousness then you should give yourself some sort of prize…
